Thursday, February 11, 2010

Roadside axiom

(Image courtesy google images)

Listed below, some of the interesting facts that each one of us would have come across or observed so many times in Chennai roads and accepted without any proofs…

• Always pedestrians cross the road by using their hands as the “RED” signals, as if the car or bike on the roads is controlled by their hands.
• If the driver of the vehicle honks, the pedestrians crossing would always give a nasty look or few ‘nice’ words for the drivers to hear.
• Almost every time when the vehicle honks at the bystanders or two wheelers busy talking or arguing on the side of the road but well inside, will turn behind and give a look like “so much space still to squeeze through” before they move and give way.
• If there is a traffic jam, the patience of smaller vehicle drivers runs out very quickly and they start driving their vehicles on the opposite side, which invariably causes more traffic jam and everyone ends up waiting for more time.
• When the traffic signal is red, invariably 20% of vehicles would have definitely crossed the “STOP” line.
• After 20th of every month the rate of finding traffic sergeant on the signals would grow exponentially.
• Most of the traffic constables would have in their hands a standard old notebook in same color, size and state which would be invariably used as the fine receipt booklet for getting the 25Rs. (God knows where do all constable get this standard notebook).
• In almost all signals the traffic sergeant would be busy negotiating with a traffic violator (bakra) and the constable would be busy finding the next ones (bakras). Finally all bakras can escape by paying a minimum sum of 25Rs.
• Probability of finding a meter on any of the autos is always 0
• Most of the auto stands operate from Pedestrian walkway.
• Almost all auto stands exist under the umbrella of some actor’s or politician’s fan club.
• Whenever an auto comes to a slow halt on the left corner of the road when no one (savari) is around, it‘s almost sure that it’s going to make a big “U” turn (without indicator of course).
• Probability of finding the helmets on the petrol tank is often greater than the probability of the helmet worn on head.
• Most young male bikers cannot digest a female bike driver overtaking him; they invariably try getting in front of them making sure they do not go way ahead of them too.
• Most female bikers riding the gear less vehicle zoom past the male bikers on the geared bikes.
• The number of eyes staring at a boy and girl - walking together is 2*(N+M), is 2*(N*M) if the boy and girl goes in a bike with girl sitting one side, is 2*(N power M) if the girl sitting in the bike two sides.
• Almost 90% LMV & HMV drivers drive in night with HIGH BEAM on, and in most cases it would be unnecessary.
• All HMV enter the road which is most likely not enough for them to drive and create traffic jams.
• Most of the young female pillion riders wear helmet, more to hide their identity than for safety.
Well the possibilities are endless; welcome anyone to add few more interesting axioms on the roads….


Swetha Guptha said...

very true very true!! we will rank first in the world for not following the traffic rules.

chennaigirl said...

//The number of eyes staring at a boy and girl - walking together is 2*(N+M), is 2*(N*M) if the boy and girl goes in a bike with girl sitting one side, is 2*(N power M) if the girl sitting in the bike two sides//
2*(N power infinity) , if the girl drives a bike with boy at the back.

Pillion rider being girl invariably wears duppatta in most cases like mogamudi kollakkari, rather than helmet.

Ithellam officla yosippeengala, illa veetla yosippeengalaaa.... illa inbetween traffic jamlayaa

Manisha Patnaik said...

Hey , you missed this one..
The high probability of finding big tummies of traffic policemen is more in India than any other country. Thanks to the fees they get from us after hiding somewhere behind the tree or charging us with assault case without any assaults.

Chan said...

@All, true very true...

@CG, nangellam yosikardha niruthvae mattom!!

Chan said...

@Mans, assault?!? hhahaha same blood !!

Shylu said...

Good observations..

"Always pedestrians cross the road by using their hands as the “RED” signals" is 100% true

and the 2nd one is also very true,me no exception :-) ,a nasty look for sure as if they are entitled to stop..

Satish N said...

Waiteessssss .... Chan, I am sure you wud for sure rate Bangalore traffic the worst in this country. Chennai to me is far far far far better maams :) Plsssss ...

But I too agree to all the points you have said here, its not Chennai, its there everywhere. Seriousaave utkaarndhu thaan yosichuruka nee ;)) traffic jam la ;)

Giridhar said...

Good one!! :) There are more axioms
There will always be more vehicles under/near the no parking sign than cycles in a cycle stand

The honk from the vehicle behind you will reach your ears faster than the light from the signal in front of you violating the fundamental laws of physics.

At night, the number of functional headlights in any automobile is road strictly follows integer((N-2)/2), N being the number of wheels

In any given segment of the road, the sum of the surface area of potholes always exceeds the surface area of black topped road.

I am getting more ideas. I think i should write my own axioms in mine :)

Chan said...

Way to go Giri.....Waiting for your post...Awesome!!

Chan said...

@Shylu, idhellam same blood....more than observations...

@Sats, forgive bangalore...

divya said...

This is best article so far I have read online. I would like to appreciate you for making it very simple and easy. You are writing awesome on real life topics

I am a proud


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