I RANT...

[Reader's discretion is advised...Folks who don't wanna spoil their morning refrain from reading below, this is just my rants and absolutely nothing useful]

I am angry....nopes furious, that would suit better, it's on myself, it's just me and my mood swings. I blame nobody, i complain about none...it's myself, it's just me and my mood swings...
My crazy mood swings has become a routine off late and i kinda accepted it and learnt to live with. But, sometime it's when this goes little beyond control and then the trouble i put others into (call it the Chaos theory or the butterfly effect) is what irks me high time. Today is exactly one such day.

It all started yesterday night, i went home late from work after hectic lobbying with the team and client teams to get things closed. As i had my dinner my mom had some petty complaints(that's what i thought) on my dad that he threw some chargers(wires) and other things to thrash in the pretext of cleaning the house. My dad is one person who doesn't like to be complained (who does) even if he is at fault started resenting. I had to calm both of them down and went to bed.

Morning before taking bath, i went and started checking in the thrash if something needs to be restored. This, for the reason that few years back we lost our mobike's RC book (most probably thrown in the thrash as a unwanted old book, while cleaning). We could not sell the bike and people scared with lotsa processes about getting the duplicate papers.

As i went to the side of my house where they'd kept those so called unwanted (to be thrashed) items in covers. To my shock there were 4 big thrash bags filled to the brim...

I first checked the first bag, guess what! my titan edge's warranty card along with bill, couple of expired ATM cards and a valid unexpired ATM card, and few other items(definitely not to be thrashed) is what i recovered. Being the impatient me, mood swings took over and from nowhere i got pissed off and started shouting at my dad. He being him started to resent and give back saying "yeah may be one or two items by mistake"...That's it, hell broke loose and i being the younger, more energetic and most unapologetic took control over the fight. At one stage my dad agreed his mistake and sat quietly.

I should have understood that he is old, an age prone to make such mistakes, i should have been patient enough to handle him and explain him. Instead i vented out on all of my anger(accumulated for so many things) on him non stop. Poor him listened to everything and kept quiet. Somehow i could not be normal at all the whole of the morning, anger kept coming on everything, a sunken feeling along with it, a feeling of guilt took over. I left for work but still something heavy inside as if I've added a big load of sins inside me along with the ones already loaded.

Even as i pen down this rant of mine, i feel so critical about myself as to why am i like this, not able to control myself. This makes me feel even more angry on my own self. I know everyone is not white or black, but a hue of grey..I don't wanna say that as an excuse for my shortcomings...

I just called home to say sorry, my mom took the phone and poor her didn't hear what i said, i immediately raised my voice to her and said 'Can't u hear me or what ?'. Oh God! I don't know how to control my anger, feeling really really low this morning...Not good enough to even apologise to them...

I am angry....nopes furious, that would suit better, it's on myself, it's just me and my mood swings. I blame nobody, i complain about none...it's myself, it's just me and my mood swings...

Tweet up @ Chennai

Satish had planned for a tweet up (first for me) in Bessy beach yesterday. The invitees were

NilaRaseegan, Naveen, Aparna, Sriram, Lavanya & Sriram, Amrita aka Cherrie, Shylaja aka Shylu, Ratzz, Prithi, Chennaigirl, Manisha aka manspat and of course your's truely.

It'd been quite some time since i met Satish, a very good friend of mine, so grabbed this opportunity to catch up with him and also thought would be good to put faces to the folks whom we read through their blogs n twits.
As i went to Bessy beach, there was a mad crowd (being a sunday evening). Then zeroed in to the location where the folks were standing. Sats, Amrita, Shylu and Nilaraseegan were talking. Initial intros were followed by general discussion on general topics.

Satish informed that few of them couldn't make it (Manspat, Chennai Girl, Ratzz, Lavanya & sriram, Priti due to their non availability). Then we were joined by Naveen n Aprarna.
When you know someone you put a face to each of them and when you meet most of the times the faces never even comes close to the ones you put. This time it was no different.
Sat on the beach sands and started discussing on variety of topics. Soon, the topic of marriage seemed to hijack the meeting. Manspat had twitted her apologies for not making up to Sats.

Satish was his usual non stop laughter self....doing the talking in a free flowing way...especially when the topics were his favourite marriage and Bangalore. Don't lose your sense of humor mate...

Nilaraseegan was his reserved self. I was thinking probably he was thinking of some new story or kavidhai ;-). I am a big fan of your tamil writing and keep writing more mate.

Amrita - Poor her, she was a victim of language barrier for most of the part. But, when she got invovled she was just as wonderful as her writing. Definitely this challenging phase of urs will pass in a jiffy....

Shylu - Successfully managed to balance her time between getting involved in the discussions as well as doubling up as official intepretor for Amrita.

Naveen n Aparna - were quite a combo...While Naveen seemed to be the quieter persona, Aparna was more expressive about her thoughts. Enjoyed their conversation, especially the "public..public" bit of it. Wishing you both in advance for a blessed married life.

In the middle of the discussion, there was a few guys campaigning for "Go Green" came and explained about how we're "abusing" our planet and how we can show that "we care" by voluntarily switching off all the lights between 8:30pm -9:30pm.

After an hour we all called it a day and returned back not before Sats was made to pay for the mangoes on the beach stall. All in all it was a pleasure meeting these great folks(friends) and special thanks to Sats for arranging this. For the people who missed out this time, there's always a next time :-)

Short yet sweet...

I recently read a post on one of my blog mate nilaraseegan about a short movie. He had written a short synopsis of the movie and given the link. I was so jobless at work then so decided to wire my ear plugs and watch it as it was mentioned that it lasts for all but 12 minutes. I thought to myself short movie for 12 minutes should be a good time pass.

When i clicked the link and saw the hero, i was totally taken by his cute innocent looks. As the real plot started unwinding, it struck to me that this was easily one of the best movies one can see. Just for the fact that you don't need huge environment, great actors, great storyline, expensive technology and most important of all touching dialogues or lenghty reels for making a movie.

The protagonists have done a superb job and overall the movie was uber creative and "HATS OFF" to the director and his entire crew.

Watch the movie here SIGNS

Special thanks to dear friend Nilaraseegan for giving the link and info about such a wonderful movie.